Big Bard Garf's Weekly Column Of Twat's And Cunt's
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How do skiddas. this is the best fucking column on the fucking bastard site so u better fucking read it or i will fucking do u in, u twat musket.


Congratulations to a certain mr wayne rooney on becoming the youngest ever goal scorer in euro ever.   Rooney, Rooney, Rooney!


check out my new website at

if u want to get in touch with me for a bit of oral. here's my e-mail address which i never bastard use so fuck off anyway you cock guzzler!

  'Taxi For Carla !!!'

And this week the taxi shout goes out to the fat tits carla.  What a right cunt she made of herself in the buckleys on friday night.  Carla the leader of the slut brigade decide to try and piss me off by biting me and throwing chewy at me. she ended up pissing me off that much i shouted at her to fuck off and she was demoted to another table by the lads.  Carla then decided to take it one step further by attempting to throw a glass of half drunk wine at me.  she failed miserably and missed by a good 3 ft.  me and rob tried endlessly to get the slag threw out but some how she managed to worm her way round staying in, what a slut.  So join me in one big shoutout, 'taxi for carla' as loud as you can at the monitor. thank you and good day.


Taxi for one!

  Twat Of The Week!

The award this week is going to ANDO.  What a FUCKING geek.  If you can remember back in the litho high days how much of a tit he was u want to see him now with his new beckaham haircut.  Ando desided on monday night to go and watch the england game in the priory, and big up to the lad cos the priory is a fucking beast of a pub, but there is now room for twats with alice bands in there hair to come and cheer on england in my pub. what a fucking croatian twat. fuck off home u slag.

here is how dazza will have seen katie before and after his beverages.

  Garfy's Higlight Of The Week

Watching the wonder kid wayne rooney single handely beat the Croats came in at a close second place. First place this week has to go to that meaty bitch of an istanbul donna that i had after the game from the bab house. it was a fucking beast and rounded off an overall mega night. thank you please.


Tit Of The Week

Once again i have nominated myself for tit of the week. to put it short and sweet i had £15 won on the slooties in the buckleys, i pressed the wrong button and walked away with an astonishing £3 quid. What a fuck up on the gaffa's behalf


And lastly a shout out to Ando for sporting a twat of a hair do "aaaaggggghhhhh"

Mr Daniels oh how i adore thee


this page is updated when ever the fuck i can be arsed you sausage jockey